I HATE animal testing
I HATE having to deal with animals in my practical class
and I HATE the way the man for whom i held the door open
had a box in his hand...that cheeped
and I HATE the way...i asked him if there were birds inside and he said yes
no prizes for guessign whats going to happen to them
God I HATe animal use
why do we have to

I have just made myself the nastiest bowl of pasta
and that has set me thinking
actually, its not that..but something that someone wrote...and i read...
and it made me wonder...
this person decided that best thing for a relationship would be to not have one..
and some of the stuff said, somewhat struck a cord
and made me worry about myself

firstly, why do i not think abt the future
when i am in a relationship..i do not think ...where is this going...whats our future going to be together..
enough ranting
the effect of the pasta has worn away

i dont see the point of those questions...relationships dont 'go' anywhere..
and how do you know what your future is going to be..
how does anyone knw
so .. why waste time thinking abt it...
the thing is....if it doesnt work out..
then the world doesnt end and neither do you
you move on, pick up the pieces and meet new people
if not, you dont and you live with many cats...
well.....im too young to philosophise....and where a relationship goes...
well i dont think much into it.

Recently, I was having a chat about asian families and values
and we stumbled upon the topic of settling....
and i said..that i never would....that i wouldnt give up my life and sit at home waiting...
my friend told me not to judge people who do that....
but i was thinking....does it make me a bad person...or someone who doesnt care..just because i see what i do as important...well i wonder...

and some of my friends are already married...and some of my friends friends are engaged to be married....and thing that set me thinking also mentions the idea....
and all that i wonder is..why do people even think abt things like that...
there is so much responsibility..which isnt easy....

I have so far...managed to avoid putting up a countdown or even think of one
but now..when the world has stopped spinning a little...
7 days...to home
where everything will sort itself out

I hate birthdays
did i mention how this yrs bday topped all the others....
apart from the odd one that my parents forgot, and the other ones when either of them wasnt there...
and that one..when grandpa fell terribly ill.....and mom had to rush back to india
theres this yr
where i have my own terrorist attack...
whenever pple talk abt 7/7
it sure as fuck isnt my birthday
god..i have a lot of repressed rage for some reason
i shall deal with this with my therapist at some pt

Its 12 10 and i am reading for my second essay of the day, which i want done tonight
then i can do the last one tmrw
that would have meant that i have done 4 essays in a few days...
who says my work load is light :-)
the endless justification to pple at home...
yes my terms are 8 weeks....just cos my hols are long...doesnt mean that i dont work myself to the bone in term time...and yes..i dont laze arnd all the time...
i havent read a non-textbook in all of term time
and yes...my hols are meant for revision...will be lugging along a chunk of textbooks and notes to learn off...
the main response you get out of pple when they find out that ur overseas...
is that...daddy is capable of funding everything
and yah...oxbridge apps are easy.....
there really is nothing to it yah....let daddy grease your path with banknotes
why do pple say things like that...i dont allude to their financial states...
why should they to mine...
i dont ever suggest that their parents paid their way into university..
so why to me...?
ok.....sourpuss is going off to write essay....
inner pigdog is triumphant