Why do Indians have an obsession with fair skin...
I dont get it at all....why is it when ever i go to india...
every random relative i has..either comes up to me and tells me how much i have grown( I mean..you would think so...the last time we met was when I was 3),
Or how dark i have become...
what is the need for that....seriously...
short of me growing flowers out of my head....or developing multicoloured spots...
they have need to comment
Do I ever tell some of them..how a little bit of weight loss wouldnt be a bad thing...
no I dont..
so why do they have to come back and tell me that i look underfed....
anyway...this basically comes from a desire to waste the rest of the day..
and a question...
why is it that pple put so much foundation on ...such that their face is a different colour from their necks....
I will sleep on it

another 5 line ramble...
A few highly disturbing pictures have been put at my disposal..
I could put them up on this blog..
But alternatively...I could keep them for blackmail
Could the person these pics concern...do a bloody good job of reassuring me..
One way or the other...
Whatever rocks ur boat.... :-)
Just a cautionary note however..
I am small but violent...at least thats what they say abt me in oxford
And I am not going to cut my hair after all
Dried it properly today...its so light..that i cant be complaining
and I cant be asked
I was called a blond today
So todays topic of conversation...is..should I dye my hair blond:-)
That I wont do..but its a frightful thought...
and I want to find an alternative word for the word..boyfriend..
makes me feel like i am living in a sweet valley teens horror house...when I refer to pple using that term...
need to find another term that is slightly more dignified...without sounding scary
got to work
been asleep all day
ignore headache that threatens to split head open

I miss my music so much....
like so much....
never thought i would...
I dont even bring it..cos it would remind me of home too much
but i found myself singing today for some reason
and now i miss my music..
and i dont have any

Of all the odd photos...this represents mental state the best 

Been insanely busy...trying to work...
a lot of work...hiding in my room working..
I havent had a drink in three weeks..and am not going to have one for another 4:-)
anyway..I am not aiming to talk abt that now...
I intend to discuss....drum roll....my hair
It needs to be cut...it was falling all over my paper today...
Couldnt take notes on the 'exquisite toxicity of ammonia to the brain' properly...
Its falling half way down my back...and maintaining it is not easy
And....yup..if it gets any longer....i am going to look like one of my ancestors...
all i will need to do is..pinnufy it(:-)....and put some jasmine in it..
that thought is frightful...backtrack:-)
Is it wrong to like jasmine...abt as wrong as it is to like roses i guess....
anyway, I need to cut my hair..
I am thinking..maybe short....just above my ear...
that would be interesting...
maybe...but the last time i cut it that short...that was memorable...
lets just say..guys..i hope that you have burnt those pictures....
how is it possible for anyone to be that ugly:-)
its all a matter of suppressing the craziness....non-conformist in a non-conformist way:-)
i cant believe that i used to think that denim was the material of the devil....HAHA
what a nutcase i was...still am...but for slightly more acceptable things:-)
all the fun that you miss out....cos of dogma....
I must say...trying to be non-judgemental is so much fun....
anyway....anything goes...is the way to go..
Ok
So maybe I should shave it off....my mom wouldnt let me do it the last time...
she said...only old indian widows do that...
the small matter of me not having a husband in the first place to mourn...
well that slipped her mind..
anyway...she would kill me..so thats out..
and i cant say that i really want to..unless its for a good cause
cos if it looks frightful..i would look like a martyr:-)
not an idiotic slave for fashion:-)
which i would rather be...
I have not cared abt what I wear and how i look....and now live every day in fear..that those pics of me will come to light...
some of that stuff i owned was frightful
anyway....the key i have realised...
is that you either spend hours finding something nice in a slightly cheaper shop..or walk into somewhere pricey and find something lovely in a matter of mins
i am going to say that i prefer option 1..cos its for the love of finding a bargain...
going to ignore how guilty i feel if i buy something expensive...so i dont anymore....
such a large waste of money:-)
think abt it..for every skirt from Cavalli....you could buy a million from far east plaza....
or i could learn to sew...which i can..but i cant make things..
maybe i should..keep me amused...

I surprise myself at how superficial I sound
In mitigation...I havent been to a shop in 6 weeks..
any shop..that isnt a grocery shop...
I havent bought anything apart from groceries in 6 weeks
The last thing I bought was an ankle length skirt..mom would call it a paavadai...
Umm...I havent had a night out in at least 3 mths
I had a chat abt pharmacology on the way back to keble
i am so tired....
and i need a haircut:-)