When I was little...I used to be so scared of the dark...
I still am actually.....of being alone...and darkness....
My mom taught me this prayer that i say before i go to bed.....
she was taught it by her mom..my granma....
funny isnt it....of all the people to discover god..me....
Well.....funnily enough....i have faith now....if god wants me to go through some of the things that I am going through now....then so be it...
Well...I guess some of the misery i feel sometimes is pay back for all the sins that i have commited....all the people that i have let down..all the wrong that i have done...
which god...i have tried so hard to obliterate....I have tried so hard to be truthful, kind and honest to people....
and then I dont know what to believe anymore.... is it forgiveness. or harsh laws of karma....
what goes around comes around....or...i dont know
as Nietzche says...what doesnt kill you makes you stronger....
I try so hard sometimes...but it never seems enough does it....