I am generally convinced that me being around makes people happy
but today is one of those days, where it just does not feel like it
basically, that i exist to disappoint
so many small things i could and can do better
exams, for example....
i could do so much better, all i am doing now, is wasting good money
doing the way that i am doing....
i dont feel like i give back enough for the amount invested in me
im basically zero to negative returns....or not worth the paper its printed on
i have to, have to get a first next year to make any of this worth it
this i will do by not going out, eating or sleeping
and if i die in the process, then it will be for a good cause:-)
so much drama

and that it seems like everything about me is wrong
every nice thing wrong....or not nice
that everyone is secretly gutted when i appear
instead of moderately pleased
:-) already checked that prozac is not available on the NHS
not even sure if the normal fuck it, is a defense mechanism or the truth
people are flawed, and me more than most