Just discovered something interesting today....
and discovering it has lifted a heavy weight of my shoulders..
It goes like this

If I feel something abt something, I feel something
I cant go on hiding things cos I fear that it will precipitate the beginning of the end
Cos sweeping things under the rug dont stop them from being there
They just gather momentum and come hit you later
So I am now going to own up to the way I feel
and stop trying to act so damned mature and disinterested
If I come on sounding like a paranoid raving bitch then so be it
This fear eats into me and it cant be good
I mean its a big fear with many little tributaries
and I am sick of feeling this way
so i am not going to
Somewhat like female empowerment, but its more of
take me as i am
and if i say something and it displeases..then so be it
i cant be sidestepping things for ever
as a general attitude to life
i know that this sounds directed at something but it isnt
more of a general observation of the issue that plagues me
and me being so non confrontational that it hurts, is not helping me